Martha Beck’s Four Squares of Transformation

(Inspired by Martha Beck’s Four Squares of Transformation)

Change rarely arrives neatly packaged. More often, it shows up as discomfort, restlessness, exhaustion, or a quiet inner knowing that the life you’re living no longer fits. When people experience this, they often assume something has gone wrong. In reality, what’s usually happening is far more intelligent — they’re moving through a natural cycle of transformation.

One of the most powerful frameworks I’ve ever learned for understanding this process is Martha Beck’s Four Squares of Transformation. This model was a core teaching in Martha Beck’s coach training and certification programme, which I completed in 2024, and it continues to underpin much of my work with clients today. It explains not only why change feels the way it does, but also where you are in the process and what kind of support you actually need.

Most people don’t struggle because change is happening. They struggle because they don’t understand the territory they’re in.

The Cycle of Change: Not Linear, But Intelligent

Martha Beck’s Four Squares describe four psychological states that humans move through during meaningful, identity-level change. These are not steps to be rushed through or “completed.” They are states of being, and we may move back and forth between them over time. Each square represents a different relationship to identity, safety, and self-trust.

Understanding this cycle allows you to stop pathologising your experience and start meeting yourself with compassion instead.

Square 1: Death and Dissolution — When Your Old Life Stops Working

Square 1 is often where people first arrive at coaching. It’s the phase where an old identity, role, belief system, or way of living begins to fall away. Nothing may look dramatically wrong from the outside, yet internally there is a sense of loss, emptiness, or confusion that can’t be ignored.

You might notice that the things that once motivated you no longer do. Roles you previously identified with feel heavy or restrictive. There may be a persistent feeling that you should feel grateful, yet something inside feels flat, numb, anxious, or quietly distressed. This square often follows burnout, relationship changes, children leaving home, career dissatisfaction, or a deep internal reckoning that can’t be rationalised away.

From a nervous system perspective, this phase often corresponds with freeze or shutdown responses. The system is conserving energy while an old structure dissolves. Although this can feel frightening, it’s important to understand that Square 1 is not a mistake. It’s a necessary part of change. Something must end before something new can begin.

Reflection for Square 1:
Ask yourself gently: What am I grieving the loss of — even if I don’t think I’m allowed to grieve it? Let yourself name what no longer fits, without trying to fix or re-frame it.

Square 2: Dreaming and Wandering — The Liminal In-Between

Square 2 is the space between who you were and who you are becoming. The old identity has loosened its grip, but the new one hasn’t yet formed. This can feel disorienting, especially for people who value clarity, productivity, and forward momentum.

During this phase, curiosity often returns in small but meaningful ways. You may feel drawn to new ideas, books, landscapes, or ways of being, even if they don’t make logical sense yet. Time can feel strange here, and many people judge themselves for feeling unproductive or unanchored. In reality, this is a deeply creative phase — one that cannot be rushed without consequences.

Square 2 is not a planning phase. It’s a listening phase. Trying to force certainty here often leads to building a new life on old foundations.

Reflection for Square 2:
Ask yourself: What am I curious about lately, even if I don’t yet know where it’s leading? Write freely and without judgement. Curiosity is the compass in this square.

Square 3: The Hero’s Journey — Action, Fear, and Self-Trust

Square 3 is the second most common place people come to coaching. This is where you begin acting differently. You might start setting boundaries, speaking your truth, choosing yourself more often, or stepping into new roles and responsibilities. From the outside, it can look like progress. On the inside, it often feels uncomfortable and exposing.

Fear tends to resurface here. Old conditioning gets louder. Self-doubt creeps in, and you may oscillate between confidence and wanting to retreat back to what’s familiar. This doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong — it means you’re doing something new.

From a nervous system perspective, Square 3 involves healthy mobilisation, but without support it can tip into overwhelm. Many people get stuck here by overworking, striving, or trying to prove the new identity rather than integrating it. Change in this square requires courage, pacing, and self-trust — not perfection.

Reflection for Square 3:
Consider this question: What am I asking of myself right now — and is it compassionate or punishing? This can reveal where support and regulation are missing.

Square 4: Integration — Becoming at Home in Yourself

Square 4 is where the new identity settles. There is less effort and less urgency. Decisions feel more natural, and there’s a quiet confidence that comes from alignment rather than achievement. Life may not be perfect, but it feels simpler because you’re no longer fighting yourself.

This phase is characterised by increased energy, self-trust, and an internal sense of safety that isn’t dependent on external validation. Importantly, Square 4 is not a final destination. Life will eventually invite another cycle of change, and that doesn’t mean you’ve failed — it means you’re growing.

Reflection for Square 4:
Ask yourself: What feels solid and true about who I am now, even if I once doubted it? Let yourself acknowledge your integration.

Why This Model Is So Transformative

Understanding the Four Squares of Transformation changes how you relate to change itself. Instead of panicking during uncertainty or judging yourself for discomfort, you begin to see change as cyclical, intelligent, and deeply human. You stop forcing clarity and start responding appropriately to the phase you’re in.

How Coaching Supports You Through the Squares

In my work, I most often support people who are either in Square 1, feeling lost, depleted, or unsure who they are anymore, or stuck in Square 3, doing all the “right things” but feeling anxious, overwhelmed, or unsupported internally.

Through a combination of self-worth work, nervous system regulation, and deeper integrative practices, I help clients move through change without abandoning themselves in the process. The goal isn’t to rush transformation — it’s to support it in a way that feels safe, grounded, and sustainable.

Ready for Support?

If you recognise yourself in this cycle and would like personalised support for the square you’re in, you’re warmly invited to work with me.

You can book a one-to-one session to gain clarity and stabilise where you are, or explore longer-term coaching if you’re navigating a deeper life transition.

👉 BOOK YOUR FREE CONNECTION CALL HERE

You’re not behind.
You’re not broken.
You’re in a natural, cyclical process, and you don’t have to navigate it alone.