(And Why Wanting Change Is Never Enough)

As 2025 comes to a close, many people find themselves in a familiar place.

You might be looking back at the year and thinking:
This time last year, I told myself things would be different.

Maybe you believed your relationship would have changed, or ended.
Maybe your financial situation would finally feel stable.
Maybe you’d be in a different job, a different business, a different home, or a different version of yourself.

And yet… here you are.
In the same patterns.
With the same frustrations.
Wondering how another year has passed without the change you so desperately wanted.

If that’s you, this post is for you.

Because real change doesn’t happen just because we want it to.

Why We Stay Stuck Year After Year

One of the hardest truths to face is this:
Most people don’t stay stuck because they don’t know what to change. They stay stuck because of what changing would require of them.

Change asks us to:

• Have difficult conversations
• Leave familiar but unfulfilling situations
• Look honestly at our behaviours, habits, and choices
• Sit with discomfort instead of avoiding it
• Become a different version of ourselves

And that’s confronting.

So instead, we cope. We tolerate. We tell ourselves stories. And another year passes.

The 3 Questions That Create Real Change

If you want 2026 to be genuinely different, there are three essential questions you need to ask yourself — honestly and without judgement.

1. What Has Not Changed?

Make a list.

What did you expect to be different by now — but isn’t?

This might include:

• A relationship that still feels draining or unfulfilling
• Ongoing debt or financial stress
• A job or business that hasn’t evolved
• Persistent feelings of dissatisfaction, burnout, or self-doubt

Clarity starts with naming the truth.

2. Why Has It Not Changed?

This is where most people stop, or get uncomfortable.

Ask yourself:

• What actions did I avoid?
• What conversations didn’t I have?
• Where did I choose comfort over courage?

Often, we know exactly what needs to happen — but we don’t do it.

Not because we’re lazy.
But because something deeper is holding us back.

3. What Needs to Shift Within Me?

This is the most important question of all.

Because lasting change never starts externally, it starts internally.

The moment you get close to taking action, certain thoughts tend to appear:

• What if I end up alone?
• What if I fail?
• What if I can’t cope financially?
• What will people think?

These thoughts are not random.
They reveal the beliefs driving your behaviour.

How Beliefs Keep You Stuck

Our beliefs are often shaped by upbringing, conditioning, and past experiences — especially around relationships, money, and self-worth.

For example:

• Staying in an unhappy relationship because being alone feels terrifying
• Avoiding financial change because identity and security feel threatened
• Remaining in an unfulfilling career because risk feels unsafe

When self-worth is externally anchored to relationships, validation, or stability, change feels dangerous.

But when self-worth becomes internal, everything shifts.

Self-Worth Is the Foundation of Change

If your sense of worth depends on:

• Being chosen
• Being needed
• Being approved of
• Being financially “safe” at all costs

Then change will always feel too risky.

But when you begin to build:

• Internal validation
• Emotional independence
• Trust in yourself

You move from needing situations to stay the same…
to choosing what aligns with you.

This is where real freedom begins.

The Hidden Cost of Staying Where You Are

One final question I always invite people to sit with is this:

What is the cost of staying exactly where I am for another year?

That cost might be:

• Your wellbeing
• Your mental health
• Your happiness
• Another year of financial stress
• Another year of quiet resentment or dissatisfaction

Change is uncomfortable, but staying stuck has a cost too.

You Don’t Have to Do This Alone

Making meaningful change is hard.
It requires courage, support, and someone to walk beside you while you navigate the fear and uncertainty.

This is exactly why coaching exists — not to tell you what to do, but to help you uncover what’s really holding you back and guide you through the process of change in a grounded, supportive way.

Ready to Do This Work?

If this resonates, I’d love to invite you to join me for my New Year Reflection & Intention Setting Workshop.

In this live session, I’ll guide you to:

• Reflect honestly on 2025
• Identify what hasn’t worked — and why
• Release patterns that are no longer serving you
• Get clear on the version of you who finishes 2026 in a very different place
• Create grounded, realistic intentions that actually lead to change

✨ Everyone who joins also receives a free 30-minute post-workshop coaching call to support your next steps.

👉 Join the New Year Reflection & Intention Setting Workshop HERE

Final Thought

You don’t need another year of hoping things will change.

You need clarity, courage, and the willingness to look inward.

And when you do, everything else can follow.

You can also listen to the podcast that accompanies this blog post below: