The 5 Stages of Lasting Transformation

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Change is the number one reason people come to me for coaching. Whether it’s leaving a job, ending a relationship, or simply shifting out of a life that feels like it’s on repeat, there’s always one underlying theme: “I want something different, but I don’t know how to get there.”

And I get it—because I’ve been there too. When I hired my first business coach back in 2016, I knew I couldn’t keep going the way I was. But I didn’t know what needed to change, how to begin, or what steps to take. I was overwhelmed and stuck.

Here’s what I’ve learned—both from my own journey and through supporting my clients. Change doesn’t happen all at once. It unfolds in stages. And the more you understand what those stages are, the more empowered you are to move through them with intention.

Let’s walk through the five key stages of meaningful life change:

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1. The Drip of Dissatisfaction

Most people don’t wake up one morning screaming, “I hate my life!”
Instead, it starts with a slow, subtle drip of dissatisfaction:

• The job you used to love begins to bore you.
• The relationship that once made you feel alive now leaves you feeling empty.
• Your energy dips, and nothing excites you anymore.

At first, you try to ignore it. But the knocking gets louder. Until one day, you wake up and think, “I can’t do this anymore.” That moment is your turning point. The discomfort becomes louder than the fear of change.

And let me tell you—just realising that you want something different is a huge step. It might feel uncomfortable, even painful. You may feel guilty or ungrateful for wanting more. But your desire for change is not a betrayal of your life—it’s a signal that your soul is ready for growth.

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2. Defining What You Actually Want

Once you’ve acknowledged what’s not working, the next step is: What do I want instead?

This question can feel huge. And that’s okay.

Maybe you hate your job—but you’re not sure what kind of work would light you up. Or maybe your relationship isn’t fulfilling, but you’re scared to imagine life without it. This is where exploration and reflection come in.

Also, pay attention to patterns. Have you found yourself in similar situations before? If you keep ending up in the same kind of job, or with the same kind of partner, it might be time to ask: What part am I playing in creating this?

This isn’t about blame—it’s about empowerment. When you recognize your patterns, you start to see the doorway to change.

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3. Strategy Meets Self-Sabotage

As a coach, I love helping clients build strategy. I’m all about practical steps, systems, and plans. But here’s what usually happens:

We get the plan in place. You start to feel clear and excited.
And then—BOOM—self-sabotage enters the chat.

Suddenly, your brain floods you with reasons to stay exactly where you are. It might sound like:

• “This is too risky.”
• “I need more time.”
• “What if I fail?”

This is your comfort zone trying to pull you back. Even if your current life is miserable, it’s familiar—and your nervous system often prioritises familiar over better.

This is where we uncover the limiting beliefs that are holding you hostage.
Beliefs like:

• “I’m not good enough.”
• “I don’t deserve more.”
• “Success isn’t for people like me.”

Doing this inner work takes courage. It’s not for the faint-hearted. But facing those beliefs head-on is the only way through.

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4. Taking Action (and Seeing Nothing Happen)

So, you’ve worked through the beliefs. You’ve started taking action. You’re doing the things.

And then… nothing happens.

This stage is brutal. You’ve shown up. You’ve been brave. You’ve done the work. And still—no results. No shift. No external confirmation that you’re on the right path.

Let me say this loud and clear: This is normal.

Transformation starts internally. And it takes time for the outside world to catch up.
Whether you’re building a business, changing careers, or healing from a breakup—there’s always a lag.

This is where many people give up. They think, “It’s not working. Maybe I should go back.”
But this is actually the moment you need to hold the line. Stay the course. Keep going. Your results are coming—but they’re arriving on soul time, not your schedule.

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5. The Ripple Effect

Eventually, the change you’ve made internally starts to ripple outward.
But here’s what no one warns you about: Not everyone will like it.

When you change, it can trigger the people around you.
They might resist, act out, or even try to pull you back into old dynamics.
Why? Because your growth challenges their comfort zones too.

This is where the real strength comes in—continuing to choose yourself, even when it’s hard.
You may lose people, you may outgrow environments, but what you gain is you.

And that’s the most important thing you’ll ever fight for.

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Final Thoughts

Change isn’t a single decision—it’s a journey. It’s messy, uncomfortable, and sometimes lonely. But it’s also where your power lives.

So if you’re feeling that slow drip of dissatisfaction, don’t ignore it. That’s your soul tapping you on the shoulder, whispering: “There’s more for you.”

And if you need someone to walk beside you as you take those brave steps forward—that’s what I’m here for.

You’ve got this.
And you don’t have to do it alone.

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If you’re not sure what needs to change, but you know something does, check out my FREE Reflective Questions PDF here.

Listen to the podcast episode that accompanies this article: