So you can STOP chasing likes on Instagram

We live in a world where external validation is everywhere. From Instagram likes to performance reviews at work, getting recognition feels good. It gives us a dopamine hit and makes us feel accepted.

But here’s the problem: when you depend on other people’s approval to feel good about yourself, you’re giving away your power. The moment the likes don’t come in, the compliments stop, or the recognition dries up, you feel flat, anxious, and “not enough.”

That’s when the chase for validation becomes a trap. External validation is nice, but it cannot be the foundation of your self-worth. If you want to feel grounded and confident, you need to learn the skill of self-validation.

Here are 7 proven ways to boost your self-worth and validate yourself—without waiting for anyone else’s approval.

1. Acknowledge Your Efforts, Not Just Outcomes

Don’t only celebrate results—recognise the effort you put in. Progress counts. Every time you show up for yourself, it matters.

2. Talk to Yourself Like You’d Talk to a Friend

Self-talk shapes self-worth. If you wouldn’t say it to a friend, don’t say it to yourself. Replace harsh criticism with encouragement.

3. Celebrate the Small Wins

Your brain builds confidence from evidence. Tick off achievements, however small, and consciously give yourself credit. These wins compound over time.

4. Check Your “Why” Before You Post

Before posting online, ask: Am I sharing to connect, or to be validated? If it’s the latter, pause. Your worth isn’t defined by likes or views.

5. Keep a Self-Validation Journal

Write down three things you did well each day. This simple practice rewires your brain to look for validation within, instead of endlessly seeking it outside.

6. Learn to Sit With Discomfort

Not getting the response you wanted? Name the feeling—“I feel disappointed”—then remind yourself, “My value doesn’t depend on this.” Over time, you build emotional resilience.

7. Anchor Into Your Values

When you live by your values—integrity, creativity, kindness, resilience—you validate yourself by staying true to who you are. That’s unshakeable self-worth.

Why Self-Validation Matters

Self-validation strengthens emotional resilience, reduces anxiety, and helps you break free from the cycle of chasing approval. Instead of your self-esteem rising and falling with likes or comments, you feel grounded in who you are.

Ready to Strengthen Your Self-Worth?

If you find yourself chasing external validation and feeling deflated when it doesn’t come, you’re not alone. I work with clients to rebuild their confidence, strengthen self-worth, and regulate their nervous systems so they stop outsourcing their value to the outside world.

As a no-nonsense life coach, I’ll help you:

• Identify the patterns that keep you chasing approval
• Build practical tools for self-validation
• Create the confidence to feel enough—without waiting for likes, praise, or permission

👉 Book a FREE connection call with me HERE and start validating yourself from the inside out. Your self-worth doesn’t have to depend on Instagram likes.