Confidence, annoyingly, is an inside job. If you’ve ever met someone who’s ultra confident, they command respect and have a high vibe presence that’s often awe inspiring. The good news is, with some practice you can achieve the same level of self confidence too.

Here’s how you can achieve greater self confidence:

Don’t talk to yourself in the tone you’d use if you’d been invited to give Hitler a piece of your mind

Our self talk is the chatter we hear the most and if it’s all about how terrible you are, you’ll erode your own confidence before anyone else has the chance to. If you haven’t paid attention to your inner monologue, I invite you to keep tabs on it and lay off the self-criticism. Talk to yourself like you would a beloved friend, not a Nazi dictator.

Stop attempting to climb Everest when a 5km jog is pushing your limits

If you aim too high too soon, you set yourself up for failure. Go for your metaphorical Everest (or actual Everest) but be realistic about the time frame in which you can climb your mountain and the action steps you need to take to get you to the top. Success comes as a result of consistent and persistent effort over a period of time. Allow yourself the time and grace to achieve your goals.

Practice makes perfect

No-one achieves brilliance the first time they try something. You don’t learn by holding a textbook, you learn by reading it, absorbing the information and putting it into practice. When something doesn’t go according to plan, use ‘failure’ as feedback. What can you do differently next time? Competence breeds confidence, the more you know about something the better you get. I’ll refer to Malcolm Gladwell’s theory that it takes 10 000 hours to master a skill, remember that when you’re berating yourself for not being perfect the first time you attempt something new.

Step out of your comfort zone

A bit like the phrase ‘alcohol, because no fun story ever started with a salad’, nothing useful, exciting or newsworthy ever happened in a comfort zone aside from death by boredom. Much like the last point, if you do something each day that stretches you out of your comfort zone, even a tiny bit, you’ll build your self confidence. 

Make a list of 50 successes

Over the course of your life you’ll have had a collection of brilliant successes that you’re choosing to ignore because you’re too focused on listening to your inner critic telling you how inept you are. Well, ignore no more. I invite you to make a list of 50 successes you’ve achieved over the course of your life so far. Then please share it with me via DM on Instagram. I guarantee, you’re more brilliant than you know. 

Celebrate your wins

Acknowledge the daily progress you’re making as you climb your mountain. Take a moment to give yourself a high five when you do something well. Phone a friend and celebrate a milestone. Collect up all the excellent feedback you’ve had in the last month, type it up, print it out and stick it where you can see it to remind yourself what a rockstar you are.

Get Feedback from Other People

I was once working with a business coach who gave me the task of emailing 20 of my clients and asking them for feedback about what they liked about working with me and, cringe, where they thought I could do better. This was downright terrifying, but you know what, no one said anything horrid, in fact quite the opposite. I got some terrific positive feedback that I weaved into my marketing copy and I received kindly worded pointers on things I could improve which ultimately helped me up level my business.

Confident people know where their skills lie and are constantly working to improve themselves through learning, connecting with others and paying attention to feedback. Building your self confidence is an evolutionary process that starts with inner work so be gentle with yourself. If you need some help, get in touch with me here.