You’ll often hear phrases like “live on purpose” or “work with purpose,” but what does purpose really mean?

Purpose, in my opinion, is a feeling. It’s a state of being that guides us through life, adding depth and direction. When we have purpose, we get up in the morning with a sense of meaning. We move with intention, knowing our actions are aligned with something that’s either meaningful for us or meaningful to others.

Feeling like life lacks purpose is a common struggle. Many people who experience anxiety or depression feel as though they’re living in a loop—like every day is “Groundhog Day” and nothing moves along or changes. Without a sense of purpose, life can feel empty, as though we’re just going through the motions.

But purpose isn’t only about our jobs or career titles. It can be found in countless places: parenting, relationships, hobbies, even in the joy of caring for a pet. It’s all about aligning with what feels good and meaningful to you.

If you’re feeling stuck, these four essential questions will help you start reconnecting with what truly matters to you.

1. What Do I Really Want?

It sounds simple, but how often do we ask ourselves this question? We often end up on autopilot, letting life happen until one day we wake up and wonder, Where did the time go? How did I end up here?

Take some time to reflect on what you really want. Is there something missing in your life? Are there dreams you’ve pushed aside? Write down your desires, both big and small, and use this as a starting point to steer your life in a direction that truly excites you.

2. How Do I Want to Feel?

Purpose isn’t just about doing; it’s about feeling. Reflect on the emotional state you want to experience regularly. Do you want to feel peaceful, fulfilled, or perhaps inspired? Once you’ve identified this, consider what changes are needed to make that feeling a reality. If peace is your goal, maybe it’s time to set boundaries that reduce stress or invest in activities that bring calm into your life.

3. If I Knew I Couldn’t Fail, What Would I Do?

Imagine that failure isn’t an option. What bold moves would you make? What dreams would you chase? Give yourself the freedom to explore what could be possible without the constraints of fear or practicality. Even if it’s not feasible to make an immediate 180-degree turn in your life, you can start taking small steps toward your big dream. Maybe that means signing up for a class, volunteering, or dedicating an hour a week to learning something new.

4. What Would I Regret Not Having Done?

Fast forward to 2035—ten years from now. Think about what you would regret not having pursued. Regret is a powerful motivator and can shine a light on the things that truly matter to you. Use this insight to evaluate your current life choices and start aligning them with the life you want to create.

Bonus Question: When Did I Feel Most Alive?

Think back to a time when you felt deeply engaged and alive. What were you doing? Reflecting on these peak moments can give you clues about what lights you up and makes you feel purposeful. Perhaps it’s a skill you’re not currently using or a passion you’ve let go of. Take these memories as indicators of what you might want to reintroduce into your life.

Building a Purpose-Driven Life

Life can feel overwhelming and hard to navigate without a clear sense of purpose. Purpose acts as a guide, building resilience and helping us push through the challenges. It’s the reason we can handle short-term discomfort for a long-term goal, like training for a marathon or working hard to save money for something meaningful. Without purpose, even the smallest obstacles can feel insurmountable.

If you’re stuck in a rut or feeling like every day is just a repeat of the last, start with these questions. Answer them thoughtfully and revisit them as needed. They are stepping stones to a life filled with meaning and direction. Purpose might be a lifelong journey, but each step you take brings you closer to a life that truly fulfills you.

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I’d love to hear what insights come up for you after working through these questions! Feel free to send me a DM on Instagram at @emmaobriencoach or, if you’d like some hands on support as you re engage with your purpose, you can book a discovery call with me here.

Listen to the podcast episode for this blog here: